last April I wrote this poem featured in the chapter “Honori..
Added 2022-03-11 20:00:02 +0000 UTClast April I wrote this poem featured in the chapter “Honoring our Bodies” within dis.pone’s book cataloguing QTBIPOC women, non-binary, and gender variant folk. I give my body vulnerably to others for a living through my healing work as a sex worker, but the pieces of myself gifted often leave me feeling lost. sometimes I don’t know who I am without this work. but I’ve committed to knowing that I am my body and what I do with it, how I treat it, how I honor it.
have you ever felt your body ?
hand on my flesh, not my own,
I feel myself feeling felt.
conforming, contouring,
to the shape of your hand,
I feel myself becoming flat.
Like a billboard,
An advertisement at your service,
Repeatedly being looked at,
But not really something one pulls over to stop and see.
when did my body become a light switch ?
wired to turn you on,
hearing up for glass container,
helping you shine your light,
and glow.
do you feel yourself when you’re feeling someone else ?
when I cannot pinpoint where my outline begins or where it ends,
I anchor myself within your parts,
your shape as my template.
but, when I give myself to you, am I being given to ?
when I am stretched too thin,
when I am aching form anchoring,
who is giving my body what they need ?
my body has learned how to be felt,
but when the palm in my hand is only my own,
do I feel held ?
do you know how forgiving your body is ?
I’ve learned that sharing is caring,
and as I shared, I thought I lost some pieces given away.
but even when I neglected boundaries,
my body has cared for me
and shown that everything I will ever need
will always be right here, wherever I am.
homeostasis,
in my home, I stay, it’s
always replenishing, it’s
always returning,
never petty,
only steady.
every time I wake,
I am back there inside,
coming alive within my body.
have you ever felt your body ?
when you do, you will know that you are here.
