Here’s a bunch of sexy gifs for you all. 🥰 And an unsexy to..

Here’s a bunch of sexy gifs for you all. 🥰 And an unsexy topic but one that should be addressed, as the male suicide rate continues to rise. You’ve probably read this on my Reddit page but for those who don’t follow my Reddit, here’s my writing on my personal experience of depression and suicidal thoughts. If you struggle with this too, you may find these thoughts to be relatable. 💕 Here’s a question for you: what steps are you taking to ensure your own emotional and mental well-being? It’s okay to not feel fine, it’s okay to feel worthless, sad, angry, overwhelmed, etc. ❤️ 🌟 What it feels to desire death: I’ve had happy experiences, moments that made me glad to be alive, but those are only moments, tiny slices of time that fade as time continues to reach forward. The immense suffering that is felt by me on a daily basis is unbearable. There are no moments of bliss that makes any of this worth-while. Upon reflecting on my own future, I don’t see anything — pitch blackness. The last couple of days I’ve stayed up late at night remembering (or technically not remembering but waking up with this lack of recollection) how there is no pain when your heart stops — you’re dead u n c o n s c I o u s, within minutes your brain will go along with it and it’s all over. A state of nothingness or lack of consciousness is much better than the feelings of misery and alienation that I am f o r c e d to trudge through. I sometimes feel like I’m trapped in a tall glass tower, seemingly extending into the heavens or whatever is purportedly up there. There’s no escape from this tower of glass. Once in a while someone will throw down a rope, but it’s either too short for me to reach or the rope appears to be long enough for me to finally anticipate escape, but upon my first grasp, it quickly unravels into vapor, as if there was no rope in the first place and it was simply a cruel mirage of the mind. In this glass tower — I can watch the world around me — people going forward in their lives with some feeling of purpose and fulfillment. Feelings that are much too foreign to me because my range of movement is restricted to this glass tower. I can only move within the confines of this space, I can’t go outside of it. All I can do is break out of this tower, with its sharp glass pieces splintering toward me, and I will no longer be trapped. Depression is a mental space, it’s a distorted mirror, it fogs your judgement and perception with smarting pangs of hopelessness. You begin to feel you were never meant to be happy, not even happy, you were simply never meant to be not miserable. I stopped striving for happiness as a goal once I realized how unattainable it was. I feel so much sadness for the implacable burden I am to everyone around me. People may view a suicidal person as selfish but in reality, they view themselves as relieving the world of a burden. The weight of depression progressively becomes heavier, I don’t want to ask for help because the depression is mine, no one else’s. It’s no one’s responsibility to help me. 🌟 I struggle deeply with depression and suicidal thoughts, and wanted to share my writing and personal experience on the subject to let people know they’re not alone and they can talk to me about these feelings if they feel they are too overwhelming of a burden to carry alone. I know suicide and depression is still heavily stigmatized and it’s hard to talk about so I open myself up to this conversation. I’m here for you all 💕